I’ll be posting updates from BROADCAST ZERO as they criss-cross Canada on what is now officially their “Crisis Management Tour ’09.” Read on to find out why!
Sunday, May 17, 2009

Broadcast Zero’s Corporate Team Building Exercise

If your looking for that much needed cohesion that your small business is missing you can follow these simple steps to create bonds that will surely endure in these trying economic times.

1. Get a minivan with 350 000 clicks on it and buy a trailer from Roy who does War of 1812 re-enactments.
2. Book countless shows across your country. Let’s say 17 will do for the first leg.
3. Don’t leave any sleeping room in your van for that 18 hour haul to Thunder Bay and eventually make your way to Winnipeg.
4. Do a few laps around the venue looking for a “beer vendor” only to arrive at the beer store as your engine decides to set itself on fire. Let the team-building exercise begin.

Your objective is to make it to Kenora the following day and eventually make it to Kamloops within 5 days. Your overall mission is to not miss ANY shows.

Additional factors:
1. Some of your equipment will be stolen the night your van breaks down. Check.
2. Your trailer leaks and those monster thunderstorms you drive through will soak your gear. Check.
3. You only have 2 licenced drivers in the band. Check.
4. You must drink every night. Check.

You’ll come to realize that this team-building exercise is IMPOSSIBLE without the support of new friends who would no doubt sacrifice themselves to help you — a true sign of the good that exists within people.

We are happy to report that while we’re not in Kamloops yet, we will be there on time come Thursday evening.

Our list of thank yous is long but here they are:

Sean and Hennessey (Kenora, On): This motherfucking guy GAVE US HIS VAN to get out West. If there is a person more committed to a thriving punk rock community in this country, I have yet to meet them. He will always hold a place in our hearts for being wicked cool. As I write this blog entry, Sean and Phil are no doubt drinking and bowling with the fine people in Kenora.

Dustin (from the Afterbeats and the Brat Attack) and his entire crew. Dustin houses us, looked at our van, told us we were pretty fucked, found a mechanic for us and stored our gear for us. His friends bought us food, drinks and even lent us their car. Who the fuck are these people!!! I mean, seriously, the willingness to aid other people is unbelievable. Our van blew us, shit got stolen, our trailer leaked and we were without a credit card essentially yet the past 3 days have been the best of this band’s career so far and some of the best times of our lives.

Take that shitty luck, we’ve got friends and booze.

And we love them all.



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